Finally Getting Closer On My Proposals

I've been working on these proposals for a long time now. I think I may have started with the wrong attitude, seeing them just as something I needed to get done, rather than something that could help me develop my project. But now that I've written and rewritten these proposals so many times, I've noticed the great progress that I've made and how much more specific and doable my project is because of all the drafts I've written. It's been frustrating, but over the last two days I spent a good eight hours just sitting down and pumping out a detailed proposal based on everything I've worked out with Jay and with my mentors.

Today I had a meeting with Ashley where we went over my proposals, and I was surprised to hear her give a very positive response. Not surprised because I was expecting her to be negative, but surprised because all my previous drafts have been so full of holes and problems, that I just expected this one to be the same. It is good to know though that with enough hard work, you can eventually succeed. Now all I have to do is finish my IRB and get it turned in. Hopefully this will be much easier to do now that I have finished the other. It will be a big relief to have these done, but I think I have finally learned the lesson I needed to learn from them, and as a result, my project now stands in a much better place.

Almost Leaving

It's crazy that we're leaving so soon, and I feel like I'm still not very close to being ready. It's been a long, but also very fast semester, and I've learned a lot. With the help of the prep class and my faculty mentors, my project has grown and changed a lot. I still have a little ways to go to finish it up my proposals, but I'm hoping not too much further. At many points I wished I could have just gotten out into the field and started working, but I do appreciate the help I've had in making my project more specific. I've gone from wanting to study "Tibetan and Indian Relationships" to filming the stories of one Tibetan and one Indian. Now I think I will have a little more structure and direction in my work rather than just wandering around hoping to find useful things. It is still too bad that I don't know already who my subjects may be, and this may be a new cause of grief and frustration in the field, but hopefully things will all work out. Making a documentary film has turned out to be a lot more work than I thought it would be. Especially a lot more paper work. I still look forward to doing it though and want this to be a very special project. I'm sorry, this post itself isn't very specific. This is just how I feel about my project right now...

the End.

Progress and Not Progress

I feel like I have finally been making some good progress on my project, and wish that I would have been doing the things I'm doing now two months ago. However, at the same time that I am making progress, I feel like I am not making progress because things keep getting harder and I keep questioning my project and if it will ever make it past the IRB, if I will ever get funding to buy equipment, and if I even like my topic anymore.

After my journal entry last week I am trying to think more in depth about what the story is that want to tell. I can't say I've really defined it quite yet, but I've been thinking about it a lot. I will be talking to my mentors (there are two of them now) about it on Wednesday and hopefully they can help me figure some things out.

Some exciting news however is that I have heard back from both of the charitable organizations I have contacted, and to my surprise, they seem very willing to work with me. I of course will need to talk to them in more detail about the project, but mostly I'm just glad that they didn't reject me right off the bat. However, I did find out something that may set me back, and that is that if I want to film the slums where the Tong-Len organization is helping Indians, apparently (or maybe) I am supposed to send in a script or a proposal to the Indian government and get there approval before I am allowed to film in the slums. I'm not really sure where to start on this, as in who to contact, but hopefully that is something I can find out. I also don't know how easy the government is to work with, and I don't know if having to go through the government is something the IRB will like or dislike (They may like it because if the government approves then they will feel safer about me doing it, but they may dislike it because it just means that I am trying to enter a vulnerable place.) I would like to make the effort though, and we'll see how it goes.

At times I really just want to give up. But then when I find interesting information or hear back from people I am working with, it gets me excited again. I just hope I'm able to pull everything through, and even though Ashley said that sometimes the biggest flops turn into the most success, I kind of really hope that my project isn't a flop.